Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
