drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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