i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
