i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
either way he was missing a nipple.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
