you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
