ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
