A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
