Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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