ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
