Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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