What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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