I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
