Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
