her vagine was all disorganized.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
