I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
