Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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