It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
