If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
