It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
