ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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