For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
tonight lets celebrate not being married
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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