i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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