Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Two words: nipple clamps
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