There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
