My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize