i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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