Sponge bath it is.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize