I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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