Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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