I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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