we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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