we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
