that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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