operation harelip BJ is a go
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you win again, gameday.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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