It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm going to jail i love you
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
