Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize