Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
