Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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