I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize