hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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