is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize