Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
