How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
