I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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