My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
