I didn't shave. On purpose
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize