For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize