So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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