Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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