i dont even know how to be here
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
