Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
