Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
