dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
