We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
