Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
